A true friend

True friend– the phrase in itself sounds so cliche that I frown upon it when I hear it.

I’ve always wondered whether or not I had any ‘true friends’. I have a lot of ‘friends’ but I’ve always felt like we were just friends because we knew each other and had to be friends. I never had anyone who genuinely confided in me, who I trusted to share my experiences with.This doubt was what led me into a serious state of depression a few months back. I was mentally ill and sick, and I had no one to talk to. I couldn’t talk to my parents because I feared that they would launch into a self-ego boost by ranting on and on about how they had it worse in the past. Jesus, sadness and struggles aren’t competitions.

Friends are there to let you know that they go through the same things that you do. They let you know that ‘you’re not the only one’.

I had forgotten about a very good childhood friend of mine until recently, when she cried for help. She, too, had fallen into a state of depression. She told me what she was going through and I empathized. I let her know that I was going through the same things.

You should never tell a friend that everything is going to be okay. False hope is just downright mean. Why reassure someone of an idealistic future when you can never really GUARANTEE one?

Honesty is the key to a good friendship. I will try to be honest as much as I can from now on. I have been ‘faking’ too much and as a result, I find myself growing madly resentful of certain individuals.

We talked about a lot of things that we thought were ‘weird’ and that made us ‘different’ from the norm. I feel loved and significant alas. So does she.

Now, I’ve finally realized what lifetime partners are for. People who get divorced do because they fail to have mutual understanding and fail to be honest and open to each other. So.. that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends are for..~EPIPHANY~Those people that just get into relationships for the fun of it and for the gain in social status never establish a true purpose to life. I’d hate to live a fake life. That’s why I just wait. I won’t push into it ..I’ll just wait until I find someone who confides in me. The time will come when it is right.

I can always talk to my friend on AIM, but I never get to talk to her in person because I never get to see her anymore. It’s quite sad. But we both  understand that we’ll always be there for each other.

Symptoms of depression include obsessing over an idealistic lifestyle. Sounds stupid, but I idealized life to be like the TV show Friends. I wanted friends like Monica, Phoebe, Rachel…and Ross and Chandler and Joey. It seemed like such a happy life. Maybe that’s why the show became so popular. People could relate to these characters. I wish I had more opportunities to talk to my friend. I don’t care to have ‘more friends like that’ because, really.. the ‘how many’ doesn’t really matter.

Everyone always talks about true friends. I wonder whether the people who are unkind and uncaring to me are true friends to someone else. In other words, is EVERYONE a true friend to SOMEONE? Why won’t that person be a friend to me too?

The term friend is too generally used in speaking. When we say “Oh, my friend told me!” we are often only referring to a classmate or associate. Is it right to call someone you know a friend? I don’t want to, but what other word could you use?! ‘Someone’ sounds way too ambiguous..